Archive | November 2014

Sucks Environment

Do you ever hate your circumstance? Do you hate your office? Your school? Your nest? Your cage? Do you ever think to leave that place?

Let say that the most famous comedian in Indonesia: Raditya Dika want to leave his world as author and comedian. He moves to another world (Dunia Lain). Then he creates books: Marmut Merah Darah (bloody Hamster), Kambing Setan (Satanic Goat), Manusia Setengah Rawon (Half Food Human), but it is Spicy-Demonic Rawon (Rawon Setan).

But it is impossible for Radit to leave his world. If he becomes the member of another world, what will happen with his followers? They will become a new religion. The Sect of Raditya Dika Worshipper.

Anyway! What makes people hate their place? The bossy leader? Dirty toilet? Hypocrite co-workers? Or annoying person who always complains about his boss, his co-workers, and his toilet? (which is himself)

Some people think that quit from uncomfortable environment is the way out from their problem. Well, I ever think in the same way. But the truth is, wherever you are, problem will always exist. Problems will follow you badly like college student in the end of the month who desperately chasing for food.

Sometimes you must quit from an environment. But sometimes, you must face that! Sometimes we must endure the pain to gain something. But if you don’t gain anything after that, don’t be mad. That is life. Sometimes life is sucks! Just be thankful that you are alive today!

Quit is an option. But quit is not to run away from the problem. Quit is to make a better decision. Quit doesn’t make you a coward. Quit is about how to make a wise decision.

You can’t quit from some environment such as marriage. Sometimes your wife is difficult. You must endure the pain to get something. But if you don’t get anything from your wife, don’t be mad. That is wife. Sometimes wife is sucks. But a real wife will always be with you to face any problem.

Now, you know that some environment can’t be changed. You know that you can’t quit from certain environment. Then change yourself. Make yourself better for your environment. Make the environment enjoy you and you enjoy them.

For MKM, quit is the last option. Because MKM knows that we have God who makes us able to do anything. Face it! Change it!
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Poop is Important

HI…. Who is here had played Digimon World 1 in PS one? That is a good game. This game allows you to have a digimon (a monster) as a pet. My favorite part is the poop part (your digimon can poop). This part makes this game realistic. Even GTA is not making poop as a routine requirement to finish the game. In fact, every creature without poop they will die. (one point for poop!)

Okay. Let me make this clear. Tell me, what is your favorite game/movie/novel that has poop as important point? Nothing! In fact, we know that poop is very important for our life. Without poop, we are nothing. Without poop, we will explode because too many waste in our body. (poop wins!)

And in this game, your digimon must poop in a proper way. You need to bring your digimon to toilet (I swear there are some toilets in the game) or you bring your portable potty. If your digimon poop in other places, your hygiene points will be decreased. If your digimon keeps doing that, your digimon will evolve into Sukamon (a poop digimon, literally)


But this game will be very frustrated when your digimon have evolved into Sukamon or Numemon (another dirty digimon). Why? Because they are very weak! You can use it for nothing. The only function of this digimon is to eat your “misplaced” poop. Literally eat that! (which is disgusting)

Your digimon will have a big chance to evolve into Numemon. After I read the walkthrough, I know what the reason is. Your digimon become Numemon because you make all the stats balance. Numemon created because your digimon is not qualified to evolve into other (better) digimon.

It is applicable to our daily life. We become a pro because we are focused on one thing. In fact, we can’t make ourselves good in everything. If we force ourselves to be good at something that we are not good at, it is a waste of time. Like the word of my favorite teacher: if you are not good at math, don’t freak out, it is not the end of the world.

Find your passion and your talent! Then, make sure that you are good at it. Be a pro! Don’t forget to poop!
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My Ex(es) Part 2

Some days ago (maybe months), I posted an article about my first ex. I will not tell you about all of my ex. Maybe. But this one is special. You must know this story.

Do you remember Farah, who broke up with me after 2 weeks? When I said that it was hard to move on, it means really hard. I did whatever I could to bring her back to my side. I did some moron things like called her with fake number, pretended to accidentally texted her, and even humiliated myself in front of public so she would realize me.

Then, I became a close friend of her best friend. We had one thing in common. She was fall in love with my best friend, and I was fall in love with her best friend. So we discussed a lot to make them be our boy and our girl. That’s why we are so close. We plan everything, just like a war. But whatever we did, we failed.

One day, we felt so tired. We think that we just need somebody to love. So, we decided to love each other. She became my second girlfriend. She has a nice smile. She is so cute and so sweet. Her brown skin reminds me on chocolate that she gave me for valentine. So, in this article, you can call her Choco.

We were so close. It felt like we understand each other. But in fact, I am the one who hurt her. We often broke up. And not for a long time, I came back to her. It is just like pressing “undo” when you made a mistake on your computer. But she was never angry. She always loved me.
I was only a kid, but I know that this is Love. We were so young. We only think how to make the other happy. Our relationship is not about sex or money or pride. Our relationship is about dream. We share our dream together.

Time is my biggest enemy. After I graduated, I moved from Kediri to Malang. It is not too far, 3-4 hours by bus. My school was hard. It is hard for me to keep contact her. Plus, there was something that makes me hard to find a way to go to Kediri until now. It hurts here… in my wallet.
I couldn’t stand seeing her crying and I was not there to wipe her tears. So I decided to leave her. I lied to her that I would enter the ministry and become a pastor. (Do not ever imagine me become a pastor! Maybe you would change your religion after I become a pastor.)

Until now, no one beat her record. I was with her for 1 year and 2 months. We were in Long Distance Relationship for 7 months. This relationship teaches me about faithfulness. She was faithful to me, but I think I was not.

…………………wait… where is the funny part? This is funny blog, why there is no funny part here….?

The funny part is maybe you forget that in this story, we were 10th grader and 8th grader and we were that faithful. Why there are some old people that not faithful with their mate? Many people did affair. There are many divorces. That is funny. Your faithfulness is defeated by this little girl. And if you left your wife because of any reason, you are not better than a 10th grade student.

I want you learn something from Choco. If you decided to love someone, love him/her with all of your heart. Do not regret your decision. Accept him/her as they are. Be a reliable person for him/her. Do not play with Love. Love is sacred, because God is Love.

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Professional Pervert

Do you ever try to look back to your past? What have you done in your past? Is it ridiculous? MKM just saw the MKM’s old twitter. MKM left it because it was hacked by someone. It can’t be opened until now. MKM saw its bio, and it’s embarrassing. It is written “Humoris dan Mesum” (Humorist and Pervert). Yes. Pervert. MKM is pervert since high school.

Anything, if you practice it daily, you will become better on it. So what do you think reader? Is MKM being more pervert? Maybe the answer is not for you. MKM rarely made pervert joke/story/picture in this blog. But it is a good idea. MKM will make a few pervert jokes in this blog soon.
In real life, MKM is pervert enough. No. MKM is very pervert. But no one here can be perverted. MKM is in dormitory of teacher students.

MKM means, what do you expected from teacher students? They always wear uniform which makes their body covered. So the conclusion is, sexy high school teacher only exist in adult video. Not in real life!

Yes. I don’t know why but Indonesian uniforms usually bad. It makes the ugly more ugly. And sometimes, the uniform of a High School is similar with uniform of Department Store Staff’s uniform. It is embarrassing.

Indonesian should make a better uniform than now. Why don’t we use SWAT uniform to go to school. It’s freaking awesome! then, we can use our Nightvision for cheating at exam. it’s totally awesome!

MKM is still wondering, is there any experience that proofs that MKM was pervert? Well, MKM did many pervert thing in high school. One day, MKM was playing Truth or Dare. When MKM won, MKM asked the lose one (a girl), “What is the color of your panties?” and “How to wear a tampon?” and “Which one is your favorite Bra?” That is not pervert! That is curiosity….

MKM’s pervert talent almost perished here. Yeah. Pervert is a talent. Why? It is because not everyone can be professional pervert. What is professional pervert? Professional perverts is those who can use their pervert-ness for the other sake.

Example: pervert usually have skill to measure boobs size without touching them. Well it’s F*CKING USELESS.

Another example: professional pervert can imagine the color of the underwear without seeing it. And…. It is also MADAFAKA USELESS.

So being pervert is useless! Stop being pervert! Repent on your sin! You pervert!

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