MKM and English

this blog is half dead. literally. It seems like MKM left this blog for long time. writing is a good habit, just like sport. if you make it routine, your brain will be shaped. sixpack. literally. now, MKM will tell you about MKM’s last practicum. “Hey!!! You’ve told us about that!!!!” (Says some readers). now, MKM will tell you more about that. how? disappointed? close the tab already!

MKM feels sorry to all Indonesian that study at International school. well, those are great schools, but somehow, being in those schools make you forget about Indonesia. You will rarely use Bahasa Indonesia to talk with your friends. You will use English for everything, even for singing National Anthems.

Well, MKM is an English-hater. not because MKM can’t speak English well. But it is because English make everything expensive. “Es teh” will only cost 5.000 rupiah max (in some remote area “Es teh” is only 1.000 rupiah). but “Ice Tea” cost AT LEAST 10.000. it is twice than the “Bahasa version”!!!!! twice is a big deal!!!!!

English also makes many things become complicated. MKM will prove you that Bahasa Indonesia is more simple.

Javanesse salad —–> Gado-gado
Javanesse salad with nut sauce —–> PecelJavanesse salad with nut sauce + rice —–> Nasi pecel
Javanesse fruit salad —–> Rujak
Thin noodle with nut sauce ——> Ketoprak
Black meat soup —–> Rawon
Honey Milk Egg Cocktail + Ginger —–> STMJ
Strong Black Coffee —-> Kopi
Black Coffee —–> Kopi
Brown Coffee ——> Kopi

See! Bahasa Indonesia is not that bad. Bahasa Indonesia is adorable. you must love and learn about it. It is okay to learn about other language, such as English, NIhon, Tagalog, Sanskirt, Mayans, Aliens, etc. But, love your country. Fix Indonesia! #ShareTheIdea #ShareTheLove #Shalom1Jiwa

ou yeah! English is Expensive. That is why MKM start to write in English. my article become expensive. hahahaha

regards, The MKM

(Expensive) Highschool

Hello guys. This is me again. Most of you will ask me, where is “My Ex part 2?” Why are you so curious about my creepy past? If you want to hear about a sad story, just make it by yourself. Have a girlfriend, and then broke up with her. Simple!
This week I begin my first practicum. I am observing a teacher in SPH Kemang. Yeah guys. You should google that school. It is awesome!
The first impressions of my friends are: “Oh? You are in Kemang. Your English must be very good.” “Congratulations! You will meet some beautiful bule!” but my first opinion about being in Kemang was, “Sh*t! I’m must wake up earlier!”
The distance between Kemang and Karawaci is far enough. It needs an hour. So, I and my group departed from my dorm at 5 am (that is still dark). And you know what? Our driver is like old guy with scary face. In the car I thought, “I am kidnapped.”
Then, I arrived at SPH Kemang, a school behind a mall. In the front gate, guards (it is plural, they are many of them) opened our door and guided us in. I felt like in the movie when I have a business with Yakuza. There are so many guards everywhere.
Then we meet the boss and we deliver the package. And then we leave the building. Not for a long time, the building is exploded (I’m just kidding. Just skip this paragraph. It is lame).
I met a cozy teacher there named Mr. DJ. So he is like “3M – Male, Math, Music.” He is very genius. He is a big fan of pokemon. He usually gives a lame question for the last question of his test. Example: If you could change your name, what would it be? Why? If you could have a pokemon for a long life companion, what would it be? Why?
And I found something interesting. Half of the students there are Koreans. They live in Indonesia and adapt very well. The proof is, they already know and like Indomie. Most of them say that indomie is good and yummy. So, this is my suggestion for the government. We can defeat Koreans economy by exporting the Indomie there.
Anyway. SPH Kemang is very interesting. It makes me want to teach there when I’m graduated. I have one quote that I learned from my observation. Be honest. Do not be hypocrite. Do not become someone else to show your best. Be yourself and love everyone.
#ShareTheLove #Salam1Jiwa

My ex part 1

The first time I heard the word ex is when I was 7 years old (I think). The ex is in ex-veemon. It is the name of my favorite digimon. You must watch it.

I am a handsome guy. Of course, I had some girlfriends. That means I have some exes. Exes? I mean the plural form of ex. I think it is the right spelling. If you flip the word, it becomes sexe. You can read that as sex-e, the same spelling with sexy. So, “exes” means the antonym of sexy. Yeah. All my exes become not sexy when they broke up with me.

In Indonesia, relationships between boys and girls are very complicated. They are dating, but they say that they are just friend (really close friend, almost dating friend, or in Indonesia: TTM –teman tapi mesra). Some say that their relationship is like brother and sister (unrelated sibling or in Indonesia: kakak adek an).

So my relationship was also complicated. I think the first “legal” girlfriend that I had is Farah (it is not a real name). It happened when I was in 9 grades. She was in 7 grades. We are in Kediri (a small town in East Java).

We knew each other from facebook. She added me as her friend. Since then, our unstable souls started the conversation through chat and liked each other status. It was awkward to meet her in real life. But I was happy to know her.

It is a reckless decision to ask her dating. But I did it. She accepted me. And we were happy, for a while. Our relationship only survived for 2…. Months? Haha… of course not! 2 weeks, ladies and gentlemen!!!

I spent my days to questioning “why?” all are answered when not a long time after I broke up, she was dating someone else. Yes, that guy was handsome, rich, cool, and totally defeat me in everything. The answer is clear. I am ugly, and she is kind of b*tchy.

It is hard to move on. But slowly, I can. The point is not why are you broke up, but what is the lesson that you got from your last relationship. Do not regret your decision, but be careful in make a decision. There is no decision unimportant.


Wait! Is there any question why am I making this post in English? There are some reasons. First, I want to improve my English. Second, if this blog can be consumed as international stuff, it is a great achievement isn’t it? So, why don’t you just support me with your comments? Fix my bad English. And do not forget to like this blog via facebook. Share this post, and #ShareTheLove


Kehidupan cacing

Pasti ada di antara kalian yang doyan makan, tapi gak bisa gemuk. Selamat! kalian cacingan! haha…. bercanda…. (tapi gak lucu)…. belum tentu kog… ada orang2 yang emang genetiknya gak bisa gemuk. ada juga yang cacingan, tapi dia tetep bisa nimbun lemak di tubuh. Iya, cacingnya nyerang otak. Otaknya jadi kopong gak ada isinya.

nah, penasaran gak sih apa yang dilakukan cacing di perut kita?  Kan usus kita sempit. dia pasti di dalem bete banget. udah sempit, panas, jarang ada makanan yang turun (itu cacingnya anak kost). MKM curiga, jangan2 cacing ini untuk menghilangkan kebosanan dan menjaga bentuk tubuh, mereka melakukan kebiasaan anak cewe alay: muntahin makanan. lalu muntahan itu mereka makan lagi.

MKM yakin kalo cacing ini otaknya kecil, artinya mereka ini sebenernya bego. tapi mereka cukup cerdas untuk bertahan hidup di usus kita. Mereka kalo makan kasian, cuma kita kasih makan gak kita kasih airnya. MKM curiga jangan2 kalo mereka lagi seret, mereka naik ke lambung, terus minum asam lambung. Jadi kalo kamu sering maag, mungkin cacing kamu memang sering seret.

kenapa cacing bisa numpuk di tubuh? karena mereka setia kawan. Mereka walau jahat, tapi tidak kanibal. jadi kalo kita makan mie, mienya gak mungkin dimakan cacing. iya. mienya dikira sesama cacing. jadi kalau kalian cacingan dan pingin gemuk, makan mie yang banyak aja.

cacing itu susah kalo mereka masuk ke otak. soalnya bentuk otak kita mirip cacing. kan susah kalau sistem otak kita dikacaukan oleh cacing. Kita ngomong jadi susah. kayak gini:

Cowo: Sayang… Ca… ca…

Cewe: Aku cantik?

Cowo: Cing…cing…

Cewe: Aku lucu kayak kucing

Cowo: kayak cacing….

Cewe: makasih!!!!


kita akan mikirin cacing tiap hari.

nah. cacing itu tahan hidup di tempat yang keras seperti usus kita. kita gimana? bisakah kita beradaptasi dengan lingkungan kita yang keras? Oke. see you next time. #Shalom1Jiwa

Pendidikan di Dunia Hantu

Pernah mikir gak sih apa yang dilakukan hantu waktu gak ada orang yang bisa ditakut-takutin? Kenapa mereka harus ke dunia manusia? Jawabannya Cuma satu, dunia hantu pasti gak ada apa-apanya. Ngebosenin. Di sana Cuma ada tukang sate. Makanya tiap kali hantu muncul ada efek asepnya.


Berdasarkan penyelidikan MKM, hantu, pas mereka lagi free, mereka menimba ilmu. Gak percaya? Buktinya, mayoritas kesurupan massal terjadi di SD, SMP, dan SMA. Itu artinya hantu kita lagi haus akan pendidikan. Ayo kita dukung hantu kita agar makin cerdas!

Kesurupan massal gak pernah terjadi di tempat maksiat. Kenapa? Hantu-hantu takut digrebek FPI. #MKMlogic

MKM yakin hantu2 Indonesia mengisi waktu luang mereka dengan belajar. Buktinya ini: kalian pasti pernah lewat tempat yang mestinya angker, menyeramkan, diliat aja udah gak mau masuk, tapi ternyata kalian gak menjumpai hantu di sana. Itu sebenernya ada hantunya, tapi hantunya gak mau keluar. Mereka lagi kerja PR.

Nah, mari kita sebagai warga Negara yang baik, kita dukung hantu-hantu kita ini dalam menuntut ilmu, agar mereka bisa bersaing dengan hantu luar negeri. Liat hantu luar negeri! Pakaiannya keren-keren. Ada yang pake jas, ada yang pake jaket kulit, ada yang pake seragam ninja. Yang ninja itu hantunya uchiha madara. #apasih

Liat pocong! Dia Cuma pake kain putih. Itu pun gak pernah dicuci, banyak bekas tanahnya. Itu pocong yang berhasil masuk TV. MKM yakin pasti ada pocong2 termarjinalkan, terpinggirkan, yang suaranya tak pernah didengar, yang dia bahkan beli kain putih aja gak mampu. Dia lompat2 pake karung bekas 17an. Kalo lagi 17an dia gak pake apa2 karena karungnya dipake lomba.

Liat hantu luar negeri, rumahnya mewah2. Ada yang di kastil, ada yang di villa, ada yang di gua, tapi guanya ternyata adalah guanya batman. Liatlah kuntilanak! Dia tinggal di pohon. Bahkan ngekos aja dia gak mampu.

Tapi MKM juga kepikiran, kalo emang hantu-hantu ini sekolah, kalo lulus mereka dapet apa ya? Mungkin mereka akan dapet ijazah lalu ijazahnya dipake buat ngelamar kerja di neraka. Mungkin di antara mereka ada hantu-hantu senior yang udah S3. Tugasnya apa? Jadi dosen pembimbing skripsi hantu-hantu yang masih kuliah. Jadi ada hantu yang udah tahun ke 69 gak lulus-lulus. (hantu korban perang kemerdekaan)

Kasian banget kan hantu-hantu kita. Maka dari itu, mari kita jalani iman kita sebaik mungkin agar populasi hantu Indonesia tidak bertambah. #Shalom1Jiwa


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